that's awesome. my wife's old job she kept bumping her head on the cabinets above her desk so i gave her a helmet, mouthguard and had a t-shirt made that said "don't hassle me i'm special".



There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with a life insurance salesman?

 

I do everything in the first seconds of the last minute so I consider myself ahead of the power curve

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some people are like slinkies,
they dont really have a purpose,
But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

 

When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

 

. wondered when you were gonna catch wind of this thread.




I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

 

A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

 

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of you nose.

 

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

 

there's nothing like walking into work after a hard night of drinking, looking your boss right in the eye and saying " actually you're wrong. my hangover IS your problem."

 

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.