Strange Encounters With the Female Kind
#11
speakin about women not playin with a full deck o cards....i went through the bank the other day and of coarse i gotta shut er down cuz neither i nor the teller can hear otherwise and afterwards i forgot i needed to go inside so i whipped her around and went in just as i heard a girl bitchin about "some guy in a red dodge two thousand five hundred"
#12
#13
So I emailed her some of my literature.
I hate her so, so, so, so much.
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
I'm laying in bed at 11:00 at night and she sends me a text message saying "Rush is on!"
I'm thinking, "what's this? She's thinking about me at 11:00 at night? She's likes Rush now? Girls can't like Rush, what the hell? I have no doubts that she'll sour on this current marriage-out-of-horniness sooner-or-later, maybe she's shopping around or something..."
So, subtly-like, I respond; "Do you like Rush? They have a local tour stop in August, I was thinking about going." See how I skillfully ask a question to keep her involved and indirectly invite her out? See my suavity?
She responds, "I liked the song. It was on the radio, I knew it was them, my husband is a fan and I know you're a fan too."
Thank you, my eternal beloved, the only girl I've ever been able to enjoy endless conversation with, the only person I've ever met with inherent understanding of how I think, the brightest most ding-batted girl on the planet... Thank you for letting me know that you're sitting at home listening to the radio with your husband at 23:00 thinking about me.
Can I find another girl? Please? Why does my life have to be stuck on this one? Because I'm so far past this one. This one is out of warranty. It's only there out of default, because there's nothing else to replace it with. This has nothing left to offer. It's topped-out. It's just burned into the screen and I can only see that because there's nothing else to show on the screen. There's no upside left. Point of diminishing returns. The pages are so over-written they're all illegible black, and I am not in any mood to start writing in white-out.
Four billion women on the planet, I know two well enough to have their numbers in my phone, one of which I was engaged to and didn't have any inclination to be, the other of which is married to not-me, and neither of which would ever even hold my hand. Let's see, maybe I'll meet a girl at the racetrack tomorrow with all the old men that somehow roped me into being the designated driver for this year's Triple Crown. Or maybe under my truck on Sunday while I take out the crappy Auto-Zone steering box. Maybe at Auto-Zone where I trade in the steering box for a hopefully less-crappy steering box. Maybe at work at the battery smelter on Monday where the young woman would look very cute in the body condom and respirator. Or maybe the coal plant in Iowa next week. There's gotta be girls there, right?
Last edited by Begle1; 06-05-2010 at 01:47 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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K50 (06-07-2010)
#14
#15
So I emailed her some of my most recent writings like she asked for, right? I tack on a few After Forever mp3's as well. The Dutch band's vocalist has the same last name as this girl, they kinda remind me of each other. Anyways, this is the email I sent her yesterday.
After she texts me last night, she responds with this email at 11:51. Wow. I'll just post this one verbatim too. Just, wow.
A snake in your lap, woman? This is the smartest girl I've ever met, seriously this is. Granted, I've admitted to not being the world's most well-versed expert on meeting girls, but I spent enough years in school to be able to gauge relative intelligences and... She's just... "Super descriptions"? You like my adjectives, woman!? Did I miss where we tripped over some discontinuous cusp in time and space and I ended up in pre-schoool English criticism class? Please tell me that you're viciously patronizing me with didactic sarcasm; the only alternative explanation is that you have willingly submerged your incredibly capable mind far beneath the superficial... To better relate with your mentally-undistinguished husband? To hide from yourself how unstimulated you are? Please tell me that you are only pretending to miss the obvious double entendres as part of an innocent-kindergarten-teacher act for the sake of teasing me and heightening some sort of role-play between you and your husband; the alternative is that you are actually this... I am speechless... You couldn't be this naively innocent? Unless you have so much repressed... And despite the better of my nature... It's hot, dammit. It's hot if she's actually this flutter-brained, and it may be even hotter if she's actually teasing me here. I can't help it. I'm not jealous, I'm not conniving, I don't really even feel guilty... But I am turned on by this woman complementing my adjectives. How pathetic is this? No woman has ever complemented my adjectives, much less one that I have a deep-seated crush on that won't go away from my life... That I can't let go away.
I don't want it to go away. I like being driven crazy. I enjoy feeling confused consternated emotions regarding my life; as my mind fights to reconcile upwelling emotions it creates calefacient, enjoyable psychological friction. But for the past year or so I've stopped my introspections to avoid the recursive realizations of my own mediocrity, failings and hopelessness that they manifest... I've just let myself exist in my pathetic circles without challenging them, without hope of getting better... And she's got it worse! She's even more wrapped up in psychological dead-ends than I am! This girl is a genius and she's so afraid of letting it out, so insecure in her own brilliance, that she's become this... You couldn't be with me because I loved you more than your God? Your religion is just another front holding down your lucid perception of the world, its dogma keeping your gifts of rich, nuanced and metaphysical (but at times contradictory, frightening and impossible) thought chained under a grotesquely-exaggerated cutesy-happy gilding...
Am I reading too far into everything? Hell yes I am. Am I not entitled to something for my feelings? I have no doubt, no emotional doubt that I could love and satisfy this woman superlatively beyond anything she has ever felt if ever given the opportunity... I feel like I am an embodiment of her realization of her intellectual capacity; her rejection of me parallels her fear of letting her carefully-controlled rationality crack through and devour her superficially-cheerful facade. Do I drive her crazy too? Does she enjoy the challenge I provide? Maybe I in some way help her... She came to me yesterday. And I would do anything to help her in any way.
This is how disturbed angsty poets ********** using a keyboard folks. Thanks for tuning in.
God, find me a new girl, please. Now I have to somehow sleep with mental images of Aristotle... Lucky, lucky Aristotle... Climbing around, slithering, probing about with flicks of his tongue...
Originally Posted by Me
Daze is an eloquent poem regarding the mediocrity of a life lived without honor to inspiration.
Comedy is a convoluted metaphysical short story that parallels dreaming in the third person to living as a character in your own life.
Ashley is a concise allegorical short story that demonstrates optimistic cynicism and cynical optimism.
Destiny is a bleeding heart poem that naively glorifies inane mental flotsam.
After Forever is a Dutch Gothic-tinged pop-oriented symphonic metal band that was fronted by a woman named Floor Jansen. Equally Destructive is amongst their best in terms of vocal production and songwriting; it's concise, carries plenty of energy and I like how they harmonize the wispy resonating classical-style vocals with the more aggressively visceral pop-rock-style vocals. Energize Me is one of their biggest hits and most accommodating songs, although I think its aesthetics are a combination of generic dark metal and Pat Benetar. Major Benetar vibe.
How are you doing?
Comedy is a convoluted metaphysical short story that parallels dreaming in the third person to living as a character in your own life.
Ashley is a concise allegorical short story that demonstrates optimistic cynicism and cynical optimism.
Destiny is a bleeding heart poem that naively glorifies inane mental flotsam.
After Forever is a Dutch Gothic-tinged pop-oriented symphonic metal band that was fronted by a woman named Floor Jansen. Equally Destructive is amongst their best in terms of vocal production and songwriting; it's concise, carries plenty of energy and I like how they harmonize the wispy resonating classical-style vocals with the more aggressively visceral pop-rock-style vocals. Energize Me is one of their biggest hits and most accommodating songs, although I think its aesthetics are a combination of generic dark metal and Pat Benetar. Major Benetar vibe.
How are you doing?
After she texts me last night, she responds with this email at 11:51. Wow. I'll just post this one verbatim too. Just, wow.
Originally Posted by Her
Doin good, trying to type with my snake in my lap haha, kinda interesting. Well Daze, Ashley, Comedy, and Destiny sound like things I'd like to read. Now Aristotle is slithering up the screen and over the keys. I'll look into After Forever another time, its a little late for music, plus the tv is on. Super descriptions though, don't know how anyone wouldn't be interested with all those adjectives :D.
A snake in your lap, woman? This is the smartest girl I've ever met, seriously this is. Granted, I've admitted to not being the world's most well-versed expert on meeting girls, but I spent enough years in school to be able to gauge relative intelligences and... She's just... "Super descriptions"? You like my adjectives, woman!? Did I miss where we tripped over some discontinuous cusp in time and space and I ended up in pre-schoool English criticism class? Please tell me that you're viciously patronizing me with didactic sarcasm; the only alternative explanation is that you have willingly submerged your incredibly capable mind far beneath the superficial... To better relate with your mentally-undistinguished husband? To hide from yourself how unstimulated you are? Please tell me that you are only pretending to miss the obvious double entendres as part of an innocent-kindergarten-teacher act for the sake of teasing me and heightening some sort of role-play between you and your husband; the alternative is that you are actually this... I am speechless... You couldn't be this naively innocent? Unless you have so much repressed... And despite the better of my nature... It's hot, dammit. It's hot if she's actually this flutter-brained, and it may be even hotter if she's actually teasing me here. I can't help it. I'm not jealous, I'm not conniving, I don't really even feel guilty... But I am turned on by this woman complementing my adjectives. How pathetic is this? No woman has ever complemented my adjectives, much less one that I have a deep-seated crush on that won't go away from my life... That I can't let go away.
I don't want it to go away. I like being driven crazy. I enjoy feeling confused consternated emotions regarding my life; as my mind fights to reconcile upwelling emotions it creates calefacient, enjoyable psychological friction. But for the past year or so I've stopped my introspections to avoid the recursive realizations of my own mediocrity, failings and hopelessness that they manifest... I've just let myself exist in my pathetic circles without challenging them, without hope of getting better... And she's got it worse! She's even more wrapped up in psychological dead-ends than I am! This girl is a genius and she's so afraid of letting it out, so insecure in her own brilliance, that she's become this... You couldn't be with me because I loved you more than your God? Your religion is just another front holding down your lucid perception of the world, its dogma keeping your gifts of rich, nuanced and metaphysical (but at times contradictory, frightening and impossible) thought chained under a grotesquely-exaggerated cutesy-happy gilding...
Am I reading too far into everything? Hell yes I am. Am I not entitled to something for my feelings? I have no doubt, no emotional doubt that I could love and satisfy this woman superlatively beyond anything she has ever felt if ever given the opportunity... I feel like I am an embodiment of her realization of her intellectual capacity; her rejection of me parallels her fear of letting her carefully-controlled rationality crack through and devour her superficially-cheerful facade. Do I drive her crazy too? Does she enjoy the challenge I provide? Maybe I in some way help her... She came to me yesterday. And I would do anything to help her in any way.
This is how disturbed angsty poets ********** using a keyboard folks. Thanks for tuning in.
God, find me a new girl, please. Now I have to somehow sleep with mental images of Aristotle... Lucky, lucky Aristotle... Climbing around, slithering, probing about with flicks of his tongue...
Last edited by Begle1; 06-05-2010 at 04:57 AM.
#16
[quote=Begle1;568615]Well, the one married girl that rejected me because I loved her more than Jesus sent me a text message out of the blue today, while I was at work on the good ole' battery smelter. She said that she heard Freebird and it reminded her of me. Then she asked me if I wrote anything recently, and for me to send it to her.
So I emailed her some of my literature.
I hate her so, so, so, so much.
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
I'm laying in bed at 11:00 at night and she sends me a text message saying "Rush is on!"
I'm thinking, "what's this? She's thinking about me at 11:00 at night? She's likes Rush now? Girls can't like Rush, what the hell? I have no doubts that she'll sour on this current marriage-out-of-horniness sooner-or-later, maybe she's shopping around or something..."
So, subtly-like, I respond; "Do you like Rush? They have a local tour stop in August, I was thinking about going." See how I skillfully ask a question to keep her involved and indirectly invite her out? See my suavity?
She responds, "I liked the song. It was on the radio, I knew it was them, my husband is a fan and I know you're a fan too."
Thank you, my eternal beloved, the only girl I've ever been able to enjoy endless conversation with, the only person I've ever met with inherent understanding of how I think, the brightest most ding-batted girl on the planet... Thank you for letting me know that you're sitting at home listening to the radio with your husband at 23:00 thinking about me.
And I thought I was the only one with this kind of crap in my life...............................
Thank you Begle
So I emailed her some of my literature.
I hate her so, so, so, so much.
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
I'm laying in bed at 11:00 at night and she sends me a text message saying "Rush is on!"
I'm thinking, "what's this? She's thinking about me at 11:00 at night? She's likes Rush now? Girls can't like Rush, what the hell? I have no doubts that she'll sour on this current marriage-out-of-horniness sooner-or-later, maybe she's shopping around or something..."
So, subtly-like, I respond; "Do you like Rush? They have a local tour stop in August, I was thinking about going." See how I skillfully ask a question to keep her involved and indirectly invite her out? See my suavity?
She responds, "I liked the song. It was on the radio, I knew it was them, my husband is a fan and I know you're a fan too."
Thank you, my eternal beloved, the only girl I've ever been able to enjoy endless conversation with, the only person I've ever met with inherent understanding of how I think, the brightest most ding-batted girl on the planet... Thank you for letting me know that you're sitting at home listening to the radio with your husband at 23:00 thinking about me.
And I thought I was the only one with this kind of crap in my life...............................
Thank you Begle
#17
#18
#19
After the 10 horse let me down in the Belmont I ended up at a party at my neighbors... Some girl that lives over there was turning five so, naturally, kegger-time. That's how my parents always celebrated my first birthdays...
After talking to old salt machinist mechanical guy that lives over there about tube bending, vehicles, fittings, guns and the merits of retirement for a few hours, I ended up talking to this beautifully fair young woman with striking blue eyes accented with scattered freckles under tanned blonde hair... And after a half hour of that or so her boyfriend comes up and starts subtly marking his territory by making out with her against the wall...
Why don't I have a girl to be jealous over? I don't have a waterbuffalo. Where is my water buffalo? I demand a water buffalo.
Gentlemen, I'm afraid we must kill the buffalo.
At the racetrack I was the designated driver, so I was drinking water... But I have no will power, so if I have a glass of water I will drink the water and eat the ice as fast as humanely possible... I think I ended up drinking over two gallons in three hours because the waitress kept dropping off more and more water, and now I'm suffering from water inebriation... If I was talking to snake-in-my-pants girl right now, I'd totally end up with a restraining order...
After talking to old salt machinist mechanical guy that lives over there about tube bending, vehicles, fittings, guns and the merits of retirement for a few hours, I ended up talking to this beautifully fair young woman with striking blue eyes accented with scattered freckles under tanned blonde hair... And after a half hour of that or so her boyfriend comes up and starts subtly marking his territory by making out with her against the wall...
Why don't I have a girl to be jealous over? I don't have a waterbuffalo. Where is my water buffalo? I demand a water buffalo.
Gentlemen, I'm afraid we must kill the buffalo.
At the racetrack I was the designated driver, so I was drinking water... But I have no will power, so if I have a glass of water I will drink the water and eat the ice as fast as humanely possible... I think I ended up drinking over two gallons in three hours because the waitress kept dropping off more and more water, and now I'm suffering from water inebriation... If I was talking to snake-in-my-pants girl right now, I'd totally end up with a restraining order...
#20