Thoughts for the day
 

When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"

maybe that's where i've been going wrong. i always ask myself "what would chuck norris do?" and then i throw my back out trying to attempt a roundhouse kick.

LMAO...


"You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard".

I was always told a good smile and nod will get you through a tuff spot:sorry: but good BS'n skills will get you out of one:c:

Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.

be careful of the toes you step on today as they made lead to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.

If walls could talk they might tell you your an A$$ hole!!

Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is never try.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

sometimes its better to remain silent and be thought a fool......than to speak up and remove all dought

Sh*t rolls down hill but when it gets to the water it floats and gets a fresh start on top

lol lol lol

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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

If a tree f in the woods you'll shure as hell hear it when it smashes your truck

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

If you cant get rid of the skeletons in your closet lite it on fire, just make sure you have good insurance for a new closet

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

lollollol
the correct response to that would be cervasa's porfavor:c:

I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

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Irony at its finest... lol.
You did that on purpose right?

you can wish in one hand and sh*t in the other and you know wich one will fill up faster but at least you have a clean hand with nothing in it to eat with

lol...

here's an idea. why don't you go outside and play hide and go f*** yourself.

lol I tried that game it is way too hard

One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures

My mom always said to me "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else"

My wife told me the same thing. THen she mailed me a spiderman helmet.
I love beef stew!!!!!!!

WTF? lol!

there's a fine line between deer hunting and just standing in the woods like an idiot.

true story I have the helmet, it came with knee and elbow pads it is SWEET, I just wish it fit my head I look really silly with it on while I ride my bike to work.

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if you never win anything you can never lose it but if you lose something and you have to win it back your in trouble

lol

If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

If you shoot for the stars thats a heck of a long way to fall, start small and invest in a trampoline

that's awesome. lol my wife's old job she kept bumping her head on the cabinets above her desk so i gave her a helmet, mouthguard and had a t-shirt made that said "don't hassle me i'm special".



There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with a life insurance salesman?

I do everything in the first seconds of the last minute so I consider myself ahead of the power curve

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lol lol lol

some people are like slinkies,
they dont really have a purpose,
But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.:bow2:

When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

lol. wondered when you were gonna catch wind of this thread.




I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of you nose.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

there's nothing like walking into work after a hard night of drinking, looking your boss right in the eye and saying " actually you're wrong. my hangover IS your problem."

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.