A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

A fool and his money are soon parted, but how did a fool and his money first get together?

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

lol. that's funny right there!!

Why do you need a driver's license to buy alcohol when you can't drink and drive?

if a man spoke in the forest, with no woman around to hear him, would he still be wrong?

They put smoke in every electronic component, thats why if the smoke gets out the component is stuffed.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

"We are upping our standards... so up yours!"

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?

My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids, I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.

those signs around me have a picture of Dr. Evil

:dd::bow2:

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

3 Rules of getting older (Men)

1. Never pass a bathroom
2. Don't waste a hard-on
3. Never trust a Fart