Diesel Bombers

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Johnny Cetane 08-01-2007 03:05 PM

If two identical twin brothers married identical twin sisters, would there kids be identical?




If your glove is too big, does it still fit like a glove?




Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs?

2001shrtbedcummins 08-01-2007 03:06 PM

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

CHenry 08-01-2007 03:06 PM

I'm glad that wristwatches have withstood the test of time, because not only would I not enjoy wearing a neckwatch, but it would be nearly impossible to see the time.

2001shrtbedcummins 08-01-2007 03:07 PM

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

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Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?

Johnny Cetane 08-01-2007 03:07 PM

Don’t you find it weird we teach our kids: scrub a dub dub, three men in a tub?

2001shrtbedcummins 08-01-2007 03:08 PM

From the thoughts of a window Licker:
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

Johnny Cetane 08-01-2007 03:08 PM

If your named Will and you are in the army do you get worried when people say fire at will?

2141pete 08-01-2007 03:08 PM

If sh*t happens, why does eveyone act so surprised?

Johnny Cetane 08-01-2007 03:11 PM

If you put stickers on non-stick pans, would they stick on?

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When you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together, it forms 'THEIRS'. Coincidence? I think not?

CHenry 08-01-2007 03:14 PM

A cheetah might be fast and an elephant might be strong, but neither of them have any pockets. We can all thank the modern clothing industry for that key advantage.

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Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder, but at the same time "Love is blind." Damn that's confusing...ah well

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Do we really need warnings that the lead in paint will kill you? Keep in mind that these people have already made a conscious decision to CONSUME PAINT

Johnny Cetane 08-01-2007 03:15 PM

What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?

CHenry 08-01-2007 03:16 PM

Some people think the worst part of Razor Blade Pizza is the razor blades. They're wrong though - it's the horribly salty sauce recipe that irritates all of your internal lacerations.

2001shrtbedcummins 08-01-2007 03:17 PM

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

2141pete 08-01-2007 03:17 PM

if 7 8 9 then 10 better look the #*%^ out

CHenry 08-01-2007 03:18 PM

Isn't it odd the way everyone automatically assumes that the goo in soap dispensers is always soap? I like to fill mine with mustard, just to teach people a valuable lesson in trust.

2001shrtbedcummins 08-01-2007 03:18 PM

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

CHenry 08-01-2007 03:20 PM

If the early bird gets the worm, then what incentive do worms have to wake up early? Death?

2141pete 08-01-2007 03:22 PM

and now pistol pete ducks out to go to bed fellas it is almost one in the morning but one more thing before i go.

The early bird gets the worm but the hawk that wakes up late will snatch his little A$$ up on the way back to his nest

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you were inside my head werent you? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Johnny Cetane 08-01-2007 03:22 PM

Do siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?

CHenry 08-01-2007 03:25 PM

If movement causes friction and friction causes heat and heat is an energy, well how long would a dog humping a bucket of water take for it reach boiling point?

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Originally Posted by 2141pete (Post 43213)
you were inside my head werent you? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

hehehe
night man!

GRI 08-01-2007 03:29 PM

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

Johnny Cetane 08-01-2007 03:30 PM


Originally Posted by 2141pete (Post 43213)
and now pistol pete ducks out to go to bed fellas it is almost one in the morning but one more thing before i go.

why do they call you pistol pete when you carry a machine gun? HA!

CHenry 08-01-2007 03:41 PM

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Johnny Cetane 08-01-2007 03:46 PM

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

CHenry 08-01-2007 04:00 PM


Originally Posted by Johnny Chimpo (Post 43226)
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

LMFAO..... and you can do it at Christmas or Easter and it don't matter!

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Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

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When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?

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Why aren't there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?

Johnny Cetane 08-01-2007 04:06 PM

because blind dogs are no longer dogs. they're footstools and foot stools don't need to see where they're going.

CHenry 08-01-2007 04:10 PM

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

2001shrtbedcummins 08-01-2007 04:27 PM

What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?

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Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?

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Why can't you get a tan on your palms?

Super Dave 08-01-2007 08:46 PM

If honesty is the best policy, then by default isn't dishonesty the second best policy?

CHenry 08-02-2007 12:43 PM

What's another word for Thesaurus?

Benjamin 08-02-2007 12:47 PM

why do you park on driveways and drive on parkways......

CHenry 08-02-2007 12:53 PM

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

Benjamin 08-02-2007 01:39 PM


Originally Posted by CHenry (Post 43471)
What's another word for Thesaurus?

http://thesaurus.reference.com/browse/thesaurus

CHenry 08-02-2007 01:53 PM

If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon on the pan?

Benjamin 08-02-2007 01:56 PM

i always wandered that......

CHenry 08-02-2007 02:04 PM

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

GRI 08-06-2007 10:54 AM

43% of all statistics are worthless

CHenry 08-06-2007 11:28 AM

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

GRI 08-06-2007 11:39 AM

UFO's are real. It's the Air Force that doesn't exist!

CHenry 08-06-2007 12:17 PM

Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?


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