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If two identical twin brothers married identical twin sisters, would there kids be identical?
If your glove is too big, does it still fit like a glove? Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs? |
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
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I'm glad that wristwatches have withstood the test of time, because not only would I not enjoy wearing a neckwatch, but it would be nearly impossible to see the time.
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Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
»»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« AutoMerged DoublePost »»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet? |
Don’t you find it weird we teach our kids: scrub a dub dub, three men in a tub?
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From the thoughts of a window Licker:
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat? |
If your named Will and you are in the army do you get worried when people say fire at will?
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If sh*t happens, why does eveyone act so surprised?
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If you put stickers on non-stick pans, would they stick on?
»»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« AutoMerged DoublePost »»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« When you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together, it forms 'THEIRS'. Coincidence? I think not? |
A cheetah might be fast and an elephant might be strong, but neither of them have any pockets. We can all thank the modern clothing industry for that key advantage.
»»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« AutoMerged DoublePost »»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder, but at the same time "Love is blind." Damn that's confusing...ah well »»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« AutoMerged DoublePost »»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« Do we really need warnings that the lead in paint will kill you? Keep in mind that these people have already made a conscious decision to CONSUME PAINT |
What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
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Some people think the worst part of Razor Blade Pizza is the razor blades. They're wrong though - it's the horribly salty sauce recipe that irritates all of your internal lacerations.
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Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
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if 7 8 9 then 10 better look the #*%^ out
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Isn't it odd the way everyone automatically assumes that the goo in soap dispensers is always soap? I like to fill mine with mustard, just to teach people a valuable lesson in trust.
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Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
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If the early bird gets the worm, then what incentive do worms have to wake up early? Death?
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and now pistol pete ducks out to go to bed fellas it is almost one in the morning but one more thing before i go.
The early bird gets the worm but the hawk that wakes up late will snatch his little A$$ up on the way back to his nest »»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« AutoMerged DoublePost »»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« you were inside my head werent you? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! |
Do siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?
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If movement causes friction and friction causes heat and heat is an energy, well how long would a dog humping a bucket of water take for it reach boiling point?
»»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« AutoMerged DoublePost »»»»»»»»»»»««««««««««««
Originally Posted by 2141pete
(Post 43213)
you were inside my head werent you? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
night man! |
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
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Originally Posted by 2141pete
(Post 43213)
and now pistol pete ducks out to go to bed fellas it is almost one in the morning but one more thing before i go.
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Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
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The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
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Originally Posted by Johnny Chimpo
(Post 43226)
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
»»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« AutoMerged DoublePost »»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? »»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« AutoMerged DoublePost »»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away? »»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« AutoMerged DoublePost »»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« Why aren't there seeing eye humans for blind dogs? |
because blind dogs are no longer dogs. they're footstools and foot stools don't need to see where they're going.
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When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
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What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
»»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« AutoMerged DoublePost »»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars? »»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« AutoMerged DoublePost »»»»»»»»»»»«««««««««««« Why can't you get a tan on your palms? |
If honesty is the best policy, then by default isn't dishonesty the second best policy?
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What's another word for Thesaurus?
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why do you park on driveways and drive on parkways......
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Right now I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
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Originally Posted by CHenry
(Post 43471)
What's another word for Thesaurus?
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If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon on the pan?
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i always wandered that......
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Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
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43% of all statistics are worthless
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Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
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UFO's are real. It's the Air Force that doesn't exist!
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Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
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