Johnny, your scarin me a lil on this one

 

i got a friend that pops in from time to time to help me with stuff around the house or to have me help him on his vehicles. we usually stay up half the night drinking but he don't wake up the next day until about 1 in the afternoon. it doesn't matter how hard i beat on the door either. i've pulled him outta bed by his toes, poured water on him, hell i even crawled in with him once. he still don't get up on time.

so i wanna lock the cats, dogs, and wife in our bedroom and set off some tear gas or something in the guest room to get him outta bed. figure if i lock him in there till it clears up the house should be ok. even gonna put a towel across the bottom of the door.

yeah, see i got this all figured out....

just need supplies.

:pc:

 

You don't wanna use gas for that, you won't get the stink out for weeks. If you wanna leave him a surprise go out to his truck and turn everything on. Turn the stereo up all the way, the windsheild wipers on high the fan on high, he won't know which end is up when he turns that key and he's still half asleep.

 

done it. i've also saran wrapped (vaseline covered) the doorway so he gets a face full of vaseline when he gets up, leaned an ironing board against the door so it'd smash his toes when he opened it, tied his jackets/pants/shirts in knots, rolled his vehicle into the street and refused to move it (which worked pretty good until the neighbors complained)......

i dunno. it's gotten to the point that it's not even so important the he wakes up but that i find out what it's going to take to get him outta bed.

 

Two options:

1. Pay a female stripper. Have the girl enter his room and proceed to do a striptease. Then have the girl seductively walk out of the room, and he'll follow.

2. Pay a male stripper. Make sure he's a buff dude. Have the man enter his room, and then proceed do a striptease on his bed. While you're taking pictures.

 

those are good ideas. i could use his own money to pay for them too.

i really want something chemical though. it just screams "good idea, johnny"...

 

WHATABUDDYUCKER.

I got a few trip flares left over from the old days.

 

Next time ya'll workin on somethin and he busts his knuckles turnin a wrench, take some alcohol and pour it on the cut while he's sleepin. That'll get his *** up

 

trip flares ya say?? think those would hurt the house???


that's just SOP around us. someone's always getting whacked with something. i got him across the thigh with a piece of hi pressure fuel line last weekend. that was because he stepped on my forearm while i was putting a radiator hose on the 4runner and wouldn't get off.

 

I can get ya a sample bottle of H2S ........its 850,000 pmm.........crack the valve and toss it in there