I met this beautiful girl last night.

She invited me back to her place and we had the greatest steamiest
sex ever.

Actually, it wasn't really the *greatest* sex ever, it was more like
medium-great sex, and well, she didn't exactly invite me back to her
place, I sort of followed her home to her apartment.

To be factual, we didn't actually have sex per se, but we came very
close.

You see we were fondling each other pretty intensely...well,
actually, I was fondling her, she wasn't fondling me...well, really,
I wasn't actually *fondling* her, our bodies just got very close
together.

To be honest, I just sort of brushed into her. Accidentally. But it
was great, really hot and sensual you know?

Actually, to be specific, it wasn't really her that I brushed into,
it was actually the back of the chair she was sitting in. Although,
the chair was...on the other side of a wall you see...in another
room sort of. And I was sort of leaning on the wall, but the chair
was very close to the wall, very close. Of course, she was on the
third floor and I was sort of...on the street...leaning against the
building.

But wow! What a night. What a night.

 

Deep down inside, you know that you envy me.

 

who does that remind you of herb who could it be