Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Two blondes walked into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home'.
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.'
'Is it common? '
'It's not unusual.'

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. 'My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' says the vet, 'let's have a look at him' So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' ' What? Because he's cross-eyed? 'No, because he's really heavy.'

'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.'

A man walked into the doctor's, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places.'
The doctor said, 'Well don't go there anymore.'

 

 

The dog one got me.

 

damiiiiiiit herb

 

Oh my Herb

 

I seen a guy with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants, I asked if he knew about it and he said yea, it's driving me nuts ,

Sorry, it must be bad joke day, got that one off Earl

 

ha ha ha ha quit it i cant take it any more its driving me nuts