today's email pics
Thread Starter
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Diesel Wrench
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 684
Likes: 67
From: Oklahoma
MONTANA GRIZZLY BEAR NOTICE:
In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the field.
We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear poop. Black bear poop contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear poop has little bells in it and smells like pepper.
In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the field.
We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear poop. Black bear poop contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear poop has little bells in it and smells like pepper.
Thread Starter
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Diesel Wrench
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 684
Likes: 67
From: Oklahoma
Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Very Little Else
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Dumb Montana Laws
Seven or more indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them. (Repealed)
In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.
It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime.
It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.
Excelsior Springs
***** may not be thrown within the city limits.
Helena
No item may be thrown across a street.
Salisbury
Pop bottles are not to be thrown on the ground.
Whitehall
It is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels.
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Dumb Montana Laws
Seven or more indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them. (Repealed)
In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.
It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime.
It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.
Excelsior Springs
***** may not be thrown within the city limits.
Helena
No item may be thrown across a street.
Salisbury
Pop bottles are not to be thrown on the ground.
Whitehall
It is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels.
Last edited by Maj Easy; May 11, 2007 at 10:01 PM.
Thread Starter
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Diesel Wrench
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 684
Likes: 67
From: Oklahoma
Bubba went to a psychiatrist. "I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy."
"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week, and we should be able to get rid of those fears."
"How much do you charge?"
"Eighty dollars per visit, replied the doctor."
"I'll sleep on it," said Bubba.
Six months later the doctor met Bubba on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me about those fears you were having?" asked the psychiatrist.
"Well Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!"
"Is that so! And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!!!"
GO BUBBA!!!
"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week, and we should be able to get rid of those fears."
"How much do you charge?"
"Eighty dollars per visit, replied the doctor."
"I'll sleep on it," said Bubba.
Six months later the doctor met Bubba on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me about those fears you were having?" asked the psychiatrist.
"Well Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!"
"Is that so! And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!!!"
GO BUBBA!!!
Thread Starter
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Diesel Wrench
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 684
Likes: 67
From: Oklahoma
President Felipe Calderón of Mexico has announced that Mexico will not participate in the next Summer Olympics .
He said that,
"Anyone who can run, jump, or swim has already left the country."
He said that,
"Anyone who can run, jump, or swim has already left the country."
