Over the last month I've had a chance to reflect on what I learned after golfing that first time and thought I would share my lessons.

1. Apparently saying “You said ‘*****’.” while imitating Beavis and/or Butthead does get old.
   
   
2. So does saying “You said ‘wood’.”
   
   
3. Golf carts do not have seat belts. Make sure your passenger is aware of any sudden moves before you make them.
   
   
4. Golf carts have parking brakes. That is all that needs to be said about this.
   
   
5. Always verify the location of the green before you tee off.
   
   
6. If you can’t see where your ball went; look down because you probably never hit it.
   
   
7. Expecting yourself to finish a case of beer by the end of the 9 hole skirmish is too much pressure and may affect your “game”.
   
   
8. If you’re worried about affecting your “game” you need to drink more beer.
   
   
9. A 3 wood can not be used for putting.
   
   
10. The female controller of the company has very acute hearing.
    
    
11. Make sure that you know the location of the female controller before commenting on the beer-cart girl’s build.
    
    
12. Due to the lessons learned up to this point make sure that when you ask the female controller “Why’s it so important to wash my *****?” that you actually have a golf ball to display so she’ll understand that you’re serious and genuine.
    
    
13. Don’t golf with the company’s female controller.
    
    
14. The little plastic bottles with dirt in the bottom hanging on the side of the golf cart are not portable mini-urinals.
    
    
15. If you’re looking for your lost ball make sure that no one else is doing the same thing before you blindly grab every ball in the general area.
    
    
16. Sand traps are the gate way to the fourth dimension of Hell.

I hope this helps some of you.

 

BWAAHAHAHAHAHA.... I define my golf games as 4 hours of enjoying cold beer and laughter with my buddies interupted by brief moments of pure rage trying to hit a small white ball with a stick toward a tiny *** hole hundreds of yards away.

 

HAHAH that is good stuff...golf is a great and terrible game all at the same time. I went with a buddy of mine about a month ago. We joined with an 11 year old and his mom....the 11 year old smoked me......

 

The 11 year old probably smoked you because he was the only one not drinking... If you play golf like Bobby, that is...

 

Ya'll make this game sound hard.....