We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!


Men ARE not mind readers.

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem ONLY IF you want help solving It. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

I'll add 2 of my own:

Hooter's really does have GOOD food. Learn how to make hot wings and buy some orange shorts and we'll stay home. Remember, relationships take 2 people.

Don't expect us to open up or commit right away. We're gatherers and hunters and are naturally suspicious of anything that can bleed for 5 days and still live.


Guys, add more if you wish. Feedback is always welcome ladies.

 

I was raised working on vehicles and I will trade my junk for others junk. It is just in my blood to be a wheeler and dealer, get use to it. I WILL NOT CHANGE!!!

We are diesel heads, if you dont like it oh well. I will not give up my hobby just because you think I spend to much time or money on my truck.

Dont look at us and tell us "You know what you did because we have no damn clue what you are talking about." Tell us what is going on or leave us alone.

I'm a family guy, I like plopping my but on the couch and watching TV and spending time relaxing, if you think it is boring theres the door.

These are a few things that irritated me about my EX.