Canuckistani Opening Ceremony
#1
02-13-2010, 01:28 AM
Canuckistani Opening Ceremony
Has it struck anybody else as underwhelming and tasteless yet?
The long-winded video intro with the corny voice and the snowboarder guy put it into a hole for me...
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And now we get the thirty different langauges...
Gaudy statues with raising arms...
Sarah McLachlan is a part of this crap?
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So exactly how much money did Canada not spend on this?
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There's a lot of babes in the Olympics. Something about the vibrancy of exceptional athletes...
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Who's genius idea was it to supply all of the US athletes with matching beanies? Could they not have made the beanies goofy as hell?
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Brian Adams and Nellie Furtado delivered the most obnoxious pop music performance in Olympic history. Go Canada. Too bad we didn't get Shania Twain and Celine Dion.
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Oh boy, more of the lame Donald Sutherland voiceover reading mediocre poetry. They sure outdid themselves. Gotta love the intrusive cliched wind blowing noise. More Canuckistanis dressed in white zoot suits, wandering around aimlessly in snow. What a stirring metaphor for Canada.
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Giant hokey light-up bear statue brought to you by Coca-Cola.
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And now the Canadians in white snowsuits are acting like they're drowning. With more fake windnoise over the PA system.
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Sarah McLachlan is still the most perfect singular thing on the planet.
Ballet dancers prancing amidst giant paper trees to the live-action Charlotte's Web soundtrack are not.
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Canada's version of Devil Went Down to Georgia sucks.
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As if it couldn't get any worse, the whole performance ratchets up to Frenchcon 4.
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Oh yeah, what the hell, now's a good time for a grunge tap dancing act.
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Canada succeeds in having a hundred women in plaid skirts dancing with each other, without turning me on in any way at all. LAME.
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Another dork standing in the middle of a stadium acting significant? Really? Freaking awesome! Maybe if we're lucky it'll turn into another overwraught act with subpar choreography set to insignificant pop music!
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They should've just let CSNY do the entire thing. This is the most pretentious display in Canada's entire history. It's like something America would come up for a presidential campaign rally if art students were a major voting demographic.
Giant sheets haloed with toilet paper. If not for Ellen Page, Canada would have no future at this moment.
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Some thick dude "discovered on YouTube" reading slam poetry. Did they just let anybody into this thing? This is like Pelosi's trillion dollar stimulus package in Opening Ceremony format.
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So apparently they ended the multi-million dollar, world-wide performance with a no-name YouTube celebrity reading poetry. What a joke, Vancouver.
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So if you have to let the old geezer speak, maybe you shouldn't let him ramble on for 20 minutes. Just saying.
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What better to follow up long-winded geezer with than... Long-winded French geezer.
The long-winded video intro with the corny voice and the snowboarder guy put it into a hole for me...
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
And now we get the thirty different langauges...
Gaudy statues with raising arms...
Sarah McLachlan is a part of this crap?
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
So exactly how much money did Canada not spend on this?
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
There's a lot of babes in the Olympics. Something about the vibrancy of exceptional athletes...
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
Who's genius idea was it to supply all of the US athletes with matching beanies? Could they not have made the beanies goofy as hell?
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
Brian Adams and Nellie Furtado delivered the most obnoxious pop music performance in Olympic history. Go Canada. Too bad we didn't get Shania Twain and Celine Dion.
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
Oh boy, more of the lame Donald Sutherland voiceover reading mediocre poetry. They sure outdid themselves. Gotta love the intrusive cliched wind blowing noise. More Canuckistanis dressed in white zoot suits, wandering around aimlessly in snow. What a stirring metaphor for Canada.
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
Giant hokey light-up bear statue brought to you by Coca-Cola.
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
And now the Canadians in white snowsuits are acting like they're drowning. With more fake windnoise over the PA system.
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
Sarah McLachlan is still the most perfect singular thing on the planet.
Ballet dancers prancing amidst giant paper trees to the live-action Charlotte's Web soundtrack are not.
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
Canada's version of Devil Went Down to Georgia sucks.
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
As if it couldn't get any worse, the whole performance ratchets up to Frenchcon 4.
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
Oh yeah, what the hell, now's a good time for a grunge tap dancing act.
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
Canada succeeds in having a hundred women in plaid skirts dancing with each other, without turning me on in any way at all. LAME.
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
Another dork standing in the middle of a stadium acting significant? Really? Freaking awesome! Maybe if we're lucky it'll turn into another overwraught act with subpar choreography set to insignificant pop music!
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
They should've just let CSNY do the entire thing. This is the most pretentious display in Canada's entire history. It's like something America would come up for a presidential campaign rally if art students were a major voting demographic.
Giant sheets haloed with toilet paper. If not for Ellen Page, Canada would have no future at this moment.
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
Some thick dude "discovered on YouTube" reading slam poetry. Did they just let anybody into this thing? This is like Pelosi's trillion dollar stimulus package in Opening Ceremony format.
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
So apparently they ended the multi-million dollar, world-wide performance with a no-name YouTube celebrity reading poetry. What a joke, Vancouver.
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
So if you have to let the old geezer speak, maybe you shouldn't let him ramble on for 20 minutes. Just saying.
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
What better to follow up long-winded geezer with than... Long-winded French geezer.
Last edited by Begle1; 02-13-2010 at 01:28 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
#2
02-13-2010, 01:33 AM
#3
02-13-2010, 02:00 AM
Okay, they only ended the first half of insufferable mediocrity with fat slam poet dude. The second half opens with kd lang.
The good news is that this is the best part so far. The bad news... Is that the best part of the two hour ceremony is kd lang.
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They just don't know how to end this, do they?
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And now "The Olympic Hymn" sung by an opera singer.
I have no idea when this will end, and unfortunately I don't think the producers knew either.
Can anybody without a 2-hour tape delay tell me if this crap is over yet in real life?
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This has clearly devolved from "pretentious" to "mastubatory".
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And now the Olympic Torch fails to emerge from the ground.
Are you kidding me Canada? 3 BILLION PEOPLE are watching and your craptacular-budget OLYMPIC TORCH prop fails to raise from the ground??
SUCK IT VANCOUVER!!!!
The good news is that this is the best part so far. The bad news... Is that the best part of the two hour ceremony is kd lang.
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
They just don't know how to end this, do they?
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
And now "The Olympic Hymn" sung by an opera singer.
I have no idea when this will end, and unfortunately I don't think the producers knew either.
Can anybody without a 2-hour tape delay tell me if this crap is over yet in real life?
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
This has clearly devolved from "pretentious" to "mastubatory".
---AutoMerged DoublePost---
And now the Olympic Torch fails to emerge from the ground.
Are you kidding me Canada? 3 BILLION PEOPLE are watching and your craptacular-budget OLYMPIC TORCH prop fails to raise from the ground??
SUCK IT VANCOUVER!!!!
Last edited by Begle1; 02-13-2010 at 02:00 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
#4
02-13-2010, 06:57 AM
Diesel Enthusiast
#5
02-13-2010, 07:00 AM
#6
02-17-2010, 11:22 PM
#8
02-18-2010, 09:34 AM
Diesel Bomber
The thing that pisses me off the most about the olympics is that Begle is right 
... It was a 
ing joke. I haven't watched much this year, but yesterday on the radio they actually said that these are "the worst games in history"...what with one casualty already and a lack of snow. But the lack of snow can't be helped, that's just the curse of hosting Winter Olympics.
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Spandex ain't so bad!
... It was a ing joke. I haven't watched much this year, but yesterday on the radio they actually said that these are "the worst games in history"...what with one casualty already and a lack of snow. But the lack of snow can't be helped, that's just the curse of hosting Winter Olympics.---AutoMerged DoublePost---
Spandex ain't so bad!
Last edited by K50; 02-19-2010 at 10:15 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
#9
02-18-2010, 10:16 PM
Okay, so let me get this straight...
Canada builds an Olympic Torch in-doors. It doesn't work.
Canada also builds another Olympic Torch out-doors, which they light by throwing Wayne Gretski in the back of a pick-up truck (I think it was an F-150?) to drive him a few blocks from the other Olympic Torch.
Okay, now for the good part....
The best part ever...
Somehow, Canada manages to put the outdoor, large, flaming torch in a part of their city that doesn't have a single clean sightline to it. Canada surrounds the Olympic Torch with a plain, ugly, non-adorned chain-link fence to keep people from getting close to it. The fence looks like it's over 100 feet away from the torch.
People rightfully complain about the massive, unprecedented, classless, short-sighted, colossal failure of taste.
Canada rectifies the situation by... Get this... In one of history's greatest ever follow-up failures... They cut a 6" gap along the middle of the chain-link fence so that people can stick their cameras through the fence to get a clean picture of the torch.
At this point, there's not really a point in continuing to point out the fact that Canada totally blew these Olympics. The question is, who is running this show and how can the entire world ban together to ensure that they will not be responsible for bringing dignity, respect or class to anything again for the rest of their lives?
Canada builds an Olympic Torch in-doors. It doesn't work.
Canada also builds another Olympic Torch out-doors, which they light by throwing Wayne Gretski in the back of a pick-up truck (I think it was an F-150?) to drive him a few blocks from the other Olympic Torch.
Okay, now for the good part....
The best part ever...
Somehow, Canada manages to put the outdoor, large, flaming torch in a part of their city that doesn't have a single clean sightline to it. Canada surrounds the Olympic Torch with a plain, ugly, non-adorned chain-link fence to keep people from getting close to it. The fence looks like it's over 100 feet away from the torch.
People rightfully complain about the massive, unprecedented, classless, short-sighted, colossal failure of taste.
Canada rectifies the situation by... Get this... In one of history's greatest ever follow-up failures... They cut a 6" gap along the middle of the chain-link fence so that people can stick their cameras through the fence to get a clean picture of the torch.
At this point, there's not really a point in continuing to point out the fact that Canada totally blew these Olympics. The question is, who is running this show and how can the entire world ban together to ensure that they will not be responsible for bringing dignity, respect or class to anything again for the rest of their lives?
#10
02-19-2010, 11:25 AM
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K50 (02-19-2010)
