Things NOT To Say To Your Pregnant Wife

17. I finished the Oreos.
16. Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty
pounds.
15. Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a
baby!!
14. I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!
13. Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl.
12. Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit
from that Richard Simmons fella.
11. Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's
gotta hurt.
10. Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard
Scott!
9. I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?
8. Are your ankles supposed to look like that?
7. Get your "own" ice cream.
6. Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today.
5. Got milk?
4. Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney.
3. Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!
2. Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water.

And the Number 1 Fatal Thing to Say to Your Pregnant Wife...

1. You don't have the guts to pull the trigger.........

 

 

 

 

i am sure any father could add a couple to that list, my favorite was always: you should't have let me lift the truck hun......or.....i guess we should have taken the car......or......i just can't seem to "miss" thoses bumps in the road......