I hate sex in movies.
Tried it once, the seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice,
well it really chilled the mood.

I know I'll never understand women. I'll never understand how a
woman can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto her upper thigh, and
crotch area, rip the hair out by the root, and still be scared
shitless of a spider.


When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

"According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice
about women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they
notice about men are: they're a bunch of liars." - Jay Leno


Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?

A: So they can see their Air Force.


For every person with a spark of genius, there
are a hundred with ignition trouble. [ I resemble that remark]

Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?

A: They both want to know where the hell are those
Tomahawks coming from!

Q: Why is it easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?

A: You only have to teach them to take off.

When they say "instant credit," don't they actually
mean "instant debt"?

Comic relief is when you add a touch of humor to an otherwise serious situation.
It's like the word "obey" in the marriage ceremony.

 

good one herb as usual

 

... those where good..