They put smoke in every electronic component, thats why if the smoke gets out the component is stuffed.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

"We are upping our standards... so up yours!"

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?

My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids, I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.

those signs around me have a picture of Dr. Evil

:dd::bow2:

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

3 Rules of getting older (Men)

1. Never pass a bathroom
2. Don't waste a hard-on
3. Never trust a Fart