>> Friends don't let friends
>>take home ugly men
>>Women's restroom
>>Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

>>Beauty is only a light switch away.
>>Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NC

>>If life is a waste of time,
>>and time is a waste of life,
>>then let's all get wasted together
>>and have the time of our lives.
>>Armand's Pizza, Washington, DC

>>No matter how good she looks,
>>some other guy is sick and tired
>>of putting up with her sh**.
>>Men's Room
>>Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill , NC

>>At the feast of ego
>>everyone leaves hungry.
>>Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ

>>It's hard to make a comeback
>>when you haven't been anywhere.
>>Written in the dust on the back of a bus,
>>Wickenburg, AZ

>>Make love, not war.
>>-Hell, do both
>>GET MARRIED!
>>Women's restroom
>>The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT

>>If voting could really change things,
>>it would be illegal.
>>Revolution Books
>>New York , New York .

>>If pro is opposite of con,then what is the opposite of progress?
>>Congress!
>>Men's restroom House of Representatives,
>>Washington , DC

>>Express Lane:
>>Five beers or less
>>Sign over one of the urinals
>>Ed Debevic's, Phoenix, AZ

>>You're too good for him.
>>Sign over mirror in Women's restroom
>>Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills ,CA

>>No wonder you always go home alone.
>>Sign over mirror in Men's restroom,
>>Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills ,CA

>>A Woman's Rule of Thumb:
>>If it has tires or *********,
>>you're going to have trouble with it
>>Women's restroom
>>Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, TX

>> ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
>>
>>Smart man + smart woman = romance
>>
>>Smart man + dumb woman = affair
>>
>>Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
>>
>>Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
>>
>>
>> OFFICE ARITHMETIC
>>
>>
>>
>>Smart boss + smart employee = profit
>>
>>Smart boss + dumb employee = production
>>
>>Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
>>
>>Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>SHOPPING MATH
>>
>>
>>
>>A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
>>
>>A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
>>
>>
>>GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
>>
>>
>>
>>A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
>>
>>A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>>
>>A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
>>
>>A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
>>
>>
>>HAPPINESS
>>
>>
>>
>>To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
>>little.
>>
>>To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
>>understand her at all.
>>
>>
>>LONGEVITY
>>
>>
>>
>>Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot
>>more willing to die.
>>
>>
>>PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
>>
>>
>>
>>A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
>>
>>A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
>>
>>
>>DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
>>
>>
>>
>>A woman has the last word in any argument.
>>
>>Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
>>
>>
>>
>>HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
>>
>>Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
>>cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started
doing
>>the same thing to them at funerals.