The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an
early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered
for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a
straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to
choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the
top of His head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet
and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He
walked Out with $96,000.

The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief
who, when asked where he would like to b e measured replied, 'From
the tip of my weenie to my *********.'

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to
reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two
Officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided
to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a
Medical Officer.

The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,'
which He did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip
of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!' he
suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your *********?'

"In Vietnam", replied the Chief.

 

THANKS HERB ANOTHER GOOD ONE