A rich, physically repulsive fat man in black was on a blind date with a pretty woman. She was interesteed in him, yet he was alien and she was slightly concerned he may have ill intent. He drove a panel van the first time, which she ironically trusted; he had a red Chevy Astrovan the next night, which she didn't trust to drive with him in. So they sat in her white Jetta in the parking lot of a 24 hour diner all night waiting for his other ride to show up, on a street that bore his last name. At one point the man from the 24 hour diner came out and said, "sorry about that terrorist alert level", implying that news happened elsewhere in the world over the course of the night. Anyways, while they are sitting the man gives the woman something he says she's not going to believe; it's a bizarre sort of large, ostrich-sized egg, covered in what appears to be a sheet of fried eggs. He says it's a swaddling klingon egg; they can have baby klingons together.

She is good natured about it and puts it in the trunk of her car. A limo pulls up and the man disappears, and then the woman walks away momentarily; she may have snuck off with him. I'm sitting watching the swaddling egg, waiting for something to happen. It disappears into the trunk, somehow I know it shrinks and rolls into the lower compartment where the spare tire is kept. The woman returns; something happened to the man and he's not coming back. We know as a matter of fact that klingon babies, especially the boys, come out very mature and prepared as opposed to human babies.

She feels as though she's in labor. I hear a ringing cell phone from somewhere down inside the trunk. I reach inside, find the small egg, about the size of a hen's egg or even smaller and shrinking to nothing; I retrieve it and pull my head out of the trunk. The woman now has a baby girl half-klingon (Lisa) and now I have a boy half-klingon (Bart), who are both already the size of toddlers. Apparently the klingon baby Bart came with a cell phone and survival kit.

Now the woman is my wife, and I work and/ or live in some sort of scary, gothic asylum filled with high-tech survellience equipment on a beautiful sunny hill top surrounded by calf-high fluffy, shiney, beautiful green grass and a few trees, burnt-out cars and tall stone walls.

The children are taken from us, as they are children, while my wife and I are to continue living out our lives in the asylum and only see them sparingly. But the boy especially is more like an action-hero teenager and begins to plot his escape. Me and my wife do our best to contain him. At one point we find he has covered himself in wet Saran wrap, and that he's similarly lined all the walls, floors and ceiling along a particular stretch of the asylum with flooded Saran wrap as well. I say, "Son, if ever the cameras don't see you, you will die." But the toddler-sized half klingon (the children are human-looking, just with a funny crease on their foreheads) action hero keeps moving rapidly, and runs down his saran-wrap covered corridors. We are tasked with pursuing and retrieving him, so we follow. His plot works and, after an extendended chase through the interior of the dark asylum we emerge onto the brilliantly-lit hill top, and he continues to run. We continue to chase him through the tall grass. Lisa is walking, or running, by herself with just a little bit of assistance from my wife; I'm the lead pursuer, they're a bit behind. I see scraps of Saran wrap that he has discarded, obviously leading into a wrecked car; I'm concerned he may be hiding in the empty engine-compartment of the car and it may or may not be booby-trapped. I approach cautiously, then fling the hood open and dive out of the way. It's empty, but I hear a cell phone from within. I pick up the cell phone, and have a huge inrush of vague recollections from my life.

I remember suddenly being at school, using a phone ("HTC", for some reason, because advertising has invaded the deepest portions of my brain) tied to a projector that the teacher was impressed with to give a presentation. I remember many classes before that. I remember the birth of the child, how klingon children come prepared with cell phones and survival kits.

Looking at the cell phone, we realize that Bart is now running through the grass, through multiple tall brown stone walls that surround the hill-top asylum towards a neighboring hill top, slightly taller and jutting into the ocean. There's a similar building on this hill top as well, slightly less scary than the asylum the child has escaped from. My wife, Lisa and I continue our pursuit of Bart into the neighboring building.

 

Can I buy some pot from you?

 

somebody has been eating mushrooms

 

Thats gotta be some primo ****.

 

You guys really don't think you got crazy stuff going on in your dreams?

 

Wow... Some party

 

Boy, that's a vivid dream. I have them that vivid sometimes but not too often. Crazy stuff? Yeah, but maybe not THAT crazy. I did have a dream once where I died. Y'know how they say if you die in a dream it's like a premonition or something? Yeah, don't believe it. I was on a train that was on a track on a cliff by the ocean. The train got derailed and plunged down to the beach and water below. I felt the sensation of falling, negative G's and a realization I was about to die. I didn't feel the impact really, but after I died I floated up the cliff face and looked down on my body and the carnage of the train and its occupants.

 

I think someone has been watching way too many Simpsons episodes, Bart-Lisa come-on now. I've had some wacked out dreams to the point I wake up and I am like "what the hell was that" had them anytime I used Scope mouth wash before I went to sleep/ honest/ I normally use the Crest stuff and no wierd dreams.
Now Desevue or how ever you spell it is a different story, now I have been in situations where someone was having a conversation with someone I never met but I knew everything they were gonna say for 5 minutes, I've freaked some friends out because I would wisper them the conversation as it was happening but before they actually said it.
While we are on wierd stuff, has anyone had every single clock stop at exactly the same time, I'm talkin electric clocks, digital included, battery clocks and even watches?? woke up one morning and every clock said 8:00 and were stopped, 2 neighbors had the same thing happen, freaked me out

 

I've had some pretty wild dreams. But nothing as wild as that.

Are you good at playing an instrument, turning wrenches, fixing stuff? If so, I'd do it to keep my mind busy.

 

i think ya had 1 to many shots that night